RANSVESTIA

to you but I'll do the best I can. Helen was struck down last night by a hit-and-run driver. She is in Bethesda Hospital and it's doubtful if she'll live. They're trying to save her life, but she was pretty badly broken up.”

I sat there stunned by the news. Slowly, the full impact of what had happened came to me and I ran into the bedroom and closed the door. I couldn't let the Colonel see a Lieutenant cry, but Greta had sobbed her heart out for maybe ten minutes before I could get my emotions under control. I repaired my makeup and went back to face the Colonel.

"What now. Sir?” I asked, “may I see her?”

“Of course you can,” he replied, “I have a car waiting.”

I called the Club to cancel the rest of my appearances and checked out of the hotel. I never said a word all the way to Maryland. We went directly to her room in intensive care. She was still unconscious and her head and face was covered with bandages. I spent the night at the Colonel's home. Early the next morning, the hospital called to say that Helen had just passed away. My grief gradually gave way to a smolder- ing rage directed at the person responsible for killing Helen. Had I been face to face with him right then, I think I would have killed him with my bare hands.

I had to finish my tour for appearance's sake, and explained to Mr. Hoffman of the Embassy why I had taken a few days off for Helen's funeral. He was sympathetic and said he would see me again before I left for Europe. All plans for my future were held in abeyance pending the real Greta's death. When it was obvious that she would not last more than a few more days, a notice appeared in the paper that she was hos- pitalized with pneumonia. She, too, was in a coma, so she was brought from her maximum security hideaway to the hospital. The Embassy was notified when she passed away, and her remains were shipped home to Germany for interment.

The decision that I had postpohed so many times, now faced me and could not be put off any longer. Whichever way I turned would be the way I would live for the rest of my life. I knew which way I wanted to go, but asked for a month to think it over.

I consulted several doctors, explaining to each what I had been doing for the past 22 years (and stay within security limits) and asked if male hormone treatments would reverse my present state as completely as

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